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Book Review – What a Son Needs From His Mom

Hello friends and welcome back!  Today, I wanted to share a book review with you for a recent gem of a non-fiction book I listened to on audible. This was my first audiobook!  Check out my last blog post on audiobooks.  The book is entitled What a Son Needs from his Mom, and it was written by bestselling author and parenting expert Cheri Fuller.

I normally read fiction books, so listening to a non-fiction book was a unique experience for me.  Still, as a mother of boys, the moment I read the title I knew I had to read it. So much for not judging a book by its cover, eh?

If I had to summarize the novel, I would say it is intended to equip mothers with the ability to raise their sons into healthy, confident, and caring young men.  The book is faith based, and while those passages are a different religion to mine, the messages were still well received. You can’t go wrong when the motivation behind raising your children is God, religion aside.

I like the author’s tendency to teach through real life example.  She shares stories about her family, and close friends. The author relates the challenges they faced, and how they guided their children.  They were everyday examples, the kinds you can relate to.

The reflective questions at the end of the chapter made me look inward. I always stopped listening after the questions to actually reflect on what was asked. What could I be doing better as a parent? How do I cultivate a loving relationship, while encouraging my sons to grow into independent young men?

Audible has a cool feature which allows you to record clips of the last thirty seconds.  This feature was useful to me in going back and listening to the parts that moved me.

A couple of snippets that hit home for me:

“One of the greatest needs a son has in his first two years is a secure attachment and bond with his mother.  When a mother reacts reliably and sensitively to her infant’s needs, he will form an internal connection to her, what psychologists call a secure attachment.”   This statement hit home for me, but it also made me wonder if I had always reacted compassionately. It can be challenging in the midst of raising another young child, and the other (well-worth it) responsibilities that come with child-rearing. Any parents feel me on that?

There are other people in a boy’s life that influence him, like his father, grandparents, teachers, sisters, brothers and coaches, yet the first and strongest influence is his mother.”

“There are many reasons a son needs his mom. In the early years she provides safety love, and nurture, or tender loving care.”

The above are just a few of the gems from the novel, and I would definitely recommend this read to mothers of boys. While goodreads rated the book a 3.74, I rate it 4.5.

Thanks as always for stopping by my little corner of the web.  Blog ya later, alligator!

The audiobook

Hello, and happy Friday.  Thanks for coming back to my little corner of the webosphere.  Today, I wanted to share my thoughts about audiobooks. I just read…errm, listened to my first one. It is with mixed emotions (feeling unreasonably melodramatic today) that I share my thoughts with you.  Book review on the audio book in question will be coming soon…so stay tuned!

To keep things simple, I am segregating my thoughts into a pros and cons evaluation.  

Pros:

  1. My audiobook was free!  I mean it doesn’t get any better than that.  If you download the audible application, an amazon company, to your phone, your first book is free. Score! I have noticed too that on amazon audiobooks are frequently less expensive than the other formats.
  2. For time constrained people (aren’t we all?!) they are convenient.  You can listen to them in the car while driving to work or any other destination.  You can turn one on while cooking, folding laundry, or any other everyday task.
  3. Audiobooks are eco-friendly.  I hear this is all the rage.
  4. They will bring you, and Marie Kondo ‘joy’, as they take up no space.
  5. They are a welcome break for your eyes, especially if you sit in front of a computer all day.
  6. If you have vision problems and love to read, your problem is solved.

Cons:

  1. For a book reading snob like me, who really has no reason to be one except that I feel like I am, reading a tangible book makes you all warm and fuzzy inside.  There is nothing quite like cozying up on the couch with a soft blanket, a cup of honey-sweetened chamomile tea, and a good book at night. The audiobook did not have that effect on me. Maybe I will adjust. When I was first gifted a kindle, I didn’t want to use a tablet for a book. I wanted to turn actual pages, and look at a drawing on an actual piece of paper.  Weird, I know.
  2. When I read something in a book that has an impact on me, I stop for a moment.  You don’t get to do that with an audiobook. It just keeps right on going.
  3. Usually you cannot share audiobooks, and I love sharing a favorite read with a friend or family member.
  4. I don’t know if all audiobooks sound alike as I have only read…there it is again, LISTENED to one, but the narrator on mine had a robotic undertone.  If you are into non-fiction, it probably wouldn’t bother you, as you are a fact seeker. The audiobook I am listening to now is non-fiction, but that is a rare read for me. I love fiction because of the way the novels transport me to another place, and I need emotion and feeling in that, not a robot.
  5. In audiobooks it is a little tough to refer back to a place you want to find, though this is not a dealbreaker for me.

So, I know inquiring minds are dying to know if I will listen to an audiobook again (J/K I know you are in fact completely indifferent).  The answer is YES, of course I will. They fit into my perfect, crazy busy, life and I find them irreplaceable. Make no mistake though, a good ‘ole paperback will always have my heart.

What are your thoughts on audio books?  Have they made you into a reader when you were a non-reader?  Share your thoughts, even if it is to disagree with anything I have said.  

Have a wonderful weekend. See ya’ll soon.  Same bat time, same bat place.

Writing in the age of technology

Hello friends, hope you are having a wonderful and shiny day!

Today I wanted to talk to you about something still along the bookish lines.  In case you cannot tell by now, I am all about books and writing. It turns out, that as a writer of books in the age of social media, you can no longer just write books (surprise!).  With the prominence of social media and all sorts of other ‘techie vessels’, if you are not in the know, and not involved, you may struggle to become the successful author you wish to be.

So let’s delve into this a little bit.  When I first started writing my novel, I learned through the writing community I am enrolled in, that you should really have a blog if you would like to get published.  This blog becomes even more relevant if you are not a published author. Also, you would need to have several, or at least one (like me), social media platforms. A good follower count on the platform and social media accounts is a plus, and you use the blog/social media profile to promote your work as a writer or author.

It took me several weeks to become comfortable with the idea of blogging since my writing is so personal to me.  Then it took several more weeks to be comfortable with promoting it on social media. The thought of saying, “Hey look at me! Come read my blog.” mortified me.  I write stories about other people. Not myself. Still, I decided that my writing meant more, and getting it out to the world, to make the world a better place, meant the most. (Does that read as cheesy as it felt to write it?). All of this said, it was time to be a writer, and aspiring author, in today’s world.  The world of technology and social media.

In addition to blogging, and marketing yourself on social media platforms, a writer can create a youtube presence or a podcast.  Some authors have sworn that their podcasts are the sole inspiration for the work they write. How amazing is that? Also, the youtubers and podcasters obtain a following, and those people read/buy their books. But, what do you do when you do not consider yourself a speaker, or in the case of a youtube platform, a vlogger?  (I really feel about ten years too old to even use the term vlogger, but here I am, usin’ it.)

I cannot tell you how many days, I sit and wish, that I could just focus on my novels versus the necessary accouterments to it. Any other writers feel me on that?  Anyone feel that way about any of the work they are passionate about? Still, I found that I have really liked having this blog to connect with the folks who enjoy my posts. It also helps me remember why I started writing. So in that sense, the blog was a win-win for me (business casual terminology seemed to fit best here).

For those of you with the same ‘writer’s personality’ as mine, ie. introverted, I feel you. It is tough to ‘put yourself out there’. And no, not every writer is an introvert, contrary to stereotypical belief that they are.  Still, introverts, it is important to get your message or your story out to the world. So break down the walls, and be bold with those aspirations. We all want to hear you!!

What have been your experiences in writing, or in any creative fields, that seem to take away from your primary interest?  Have you found that over time you have developed an appreciation for any of those things? What other techie vessels can you think of that play a role in becoming a traditionally published author?  Please share your thoughts, I would love to know.

Eager Young Readers

Happy almost weekend!  In staying true to my bookish blog posts as of late, I wanted to share something for the reading parents of children.  We often wonder how we can encourage our young ones to be eager young readers. As Dr. Seuss famously said, ‘The more you read the more things you will know. The more you learn, the more places you’ll go.’

Many of us read with, to, and listen to our young readers. I like to cuddle up with my kids at night and read.  We all pick out a book, and take turns being the storyteller. We keep a dictionary close by so that we can look up words we don’t know the meaning of. I do it too, shhh, don’t tell anyone!

I like to ask questions before during, and after the story.  Recently, a friend put me onto a fun learning resource that makes reading comprehension fun. They are called Learning resources reading comprehension cubes. At the time of this blog, post they are on sale for $11.73 on amazon, and of course shipping is free with amazon prime. I do love a deal.

The cubes are wonderful, because you play a game with your child while reading. So, there is bonding and learning happening all at once. The description says that they are for six years old and older. If you have a younger than six reader, there are certain questions they can answer as well.

So let’s break it down.

There are six dice: two red, two blue, and two green. First, before you start reading you roll the red cubes.  A question such as ‘What does the cover of the book tell you about the story?’ will present itself. Then the party starts. I have found that as time has past, and when I ask my kids this question, their attention to detail has really flourished.

Next, find a good stopping point in the middle of the story, and ask your reader to roll the blue dice.  For an older reader, I really liked the blue dice question: ‘How would you attempt to solve a problem in the story?’  If you know a resolution to a problem in a storybook is about to be revealed, that might be a good stopping point to get your little reader’s thoughts first.

Finally, when the story is done, have the reader roll the green dice.  One question on the green dice helped me understand how much my young reader was focused, how much they remember, and how well they can summarize.  The question was, ‘Retell a main event within the story.’

These questions are of course all possible to ask without using the dice, and hopefully the question suggestions posted here will help you and your family.

Was this blog post was helpful to you in finding new and creative ways to encourage your young reader?  What do you do to foster eager young readers at home? How do you like to encourage your kids to learn? Please share, I would love to know.

Book Review – Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine

Hello folks, and happy Friday! So, in case you were looking for a read to snuggle up with during this national polar vortex, have I got one for you?! You can cozy up in a warm blanket with some hot cocoa, and enjoy the company of Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman. The novel was published in 2017. This will work especially well if you are not much of a football fan. If you are, wait until next weekend to read it.

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine is an uplifting, and real life feel fiction novel, in the midst of a rather unexpected setting. It reminds you that a simple hello, or turning up for someone when they need you, can seem so small in magnitude to one person, while meaning everything to another.

The story takes place in Glasgow with the main character and first person narrator being Eleanor Oliphant. She works in an office as a finance clerk, and lives on her own. She has no real friends or family near her, and other than weekly conversations with her mummy, she lives a rather solitary life. Still, it would seem that for all purposes she is completely fine. She develops a friendship with an unlikely constituent, and the events that unfold after lead to an unraveling of Eleanor.

As I read the book, and connected with the main character, I found that there is a little bit of Eleanor in all of us. Her vocabulary is impeccable, (kudos to the author), she is a bit of a germaphobe, and vodka is her weekend buddy. For someone who does not have people surrounding her (or really anyone), it does not make her feel that she should settle on the company of anyone, or care about their opinions of her.

I found the novel to be a page-turner, and read it in four days, which is lightning speed for me.

Every good novel has an underlying theme. This one was around mental illness, and how a simple kind gesture can move mountains. It really brings to mind the quote by Wendy Mass “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”

I give Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine five stars, and highly recommend you read it. At the time of this post, the paperback edition is on sale at amazon. Score!

If you have read this book, what did you think of it? Have you gone out of your way to be kind to someone today, whether you know them or not? What are you doing this super bowl weekend? Please share!

Have a wonderful weekend, friends!

2019 Book Reading Goals

Hello, and happy new year, folks!  As we finish off the last year of this decade, I wanted to support you with any of your 2019 book reading goals. This said, I will be sharing book recommendations and reading challenges.  There are several reading challenges that kicked off at the start of the year, and maybe you can add some of these books to your list of reads for 2019.

1. The Ministry of Utmost Happiness by Arundhati Roy

In the most unique and unexpected of settings, Arundhati Roy uses vivid literary imagery to connect you to the characters in this novel.

2. The Palace of Illusions by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni

See my book review here: https://anitakharbanda.com/2018/12/28/the-palace-of-illusions-book-review/

3. Before We Visit the Goddess by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni

See my book review here: https://anitakharbanda.com/2018/10/03/before-we-visit-the-goddess-book-review/

4. Her Name is Kaur by Meeta Kaur

In this riveting collection of short stories, Sikh American women share their dramatic and humorous experiences with love, spirituality, community and family.

5. Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

You cannot help the empathy and connection you can feel to the author in this memoir about her personal journey through a life altering event.

6. The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri

A perfectly tailored, and award-winning expression of the Indian immigrant experience.

Currently, I am reading a literary work by the up and coming author Balli Kaur Jaswal, entitled Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows. It was on Reese Witherspoon’s book club list, and already I cannot put it down.  Once I finish this novel, I will be moving onto Balli Kaur’s new release 2019 novel: The Unlikely Adventures of the Shergill Sisters.

I am currently enrolled in two goodreads reading challenges. If you do not have a goodreads account you will need to set one up, which is relatively easy.  There are several reading challenges on goodreads, and other websites, but I am highlighting the two I joined.  The links to these are below.

The first reading challenge is a personal goal for the number of books you would like to read this year.   The second challenge is a goal to read 300 books this year. Yikes! Did I scare ya?  You are not alone. It is a virtual certainty that I will not read 300 novels this year, BUT I will be voraciously consuming any ‘goodreads’ possible. Pun intended.

There are several links in the 300 books club group to support the ambitious goal. Firstly, some Goodreads members of the 300 books group have recommended reading graphic novels, shorter novels, and poetry to facilitate the hefty goal. Secondly, there are several tools within this challenge to help you keep track of your novels, and follow the calendar, which runs for the entire year of 2019.  Thirdly, there are reading binge book days where you try to read as much as possible in a given day, usually a Saturday. Fourthly, a monthly book recommendation is also part of the challenge (certainly helpful when you are running out of suggestions and ‘want to reads’). Lasly, there is a link to a substantial list of book recommendations once you join the group. A few that piqued my interest on this list are: Becoming by Michelle Obama, Educated by Tara Westover, and Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

Below are the challenge links:

1. Goodreads challenge personal book reading goal:

https://www.goodreads.com/challenges/8863-2019-reading-challenge

2. Goodreads 300 book reading challenge link:

https://www.goodreads.com/group/show/757578-2019-reading-challenge

Hope this helps with any reading goals you may have for 2019. Do you have any book recommendations?  Please comment and share. I would love to know. Have a wonderful, and book-ish weekend!

The Palace of Illusions – Book review

Hello friends!  I recently read a glorious work of South Asian literature for a book club. It was written by one of my favorite, award winning authors, Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. The novel is entitled The Palace of Illusions, and it was published in 2008.  The novel is set to be released as a motion picture in Bollywood.  Let’s just say I am counting down the days until I can watch it.

Goodreads had an astounding 23,000 ratings for its 4.13 star rating on this fascinating work of art!  

The tale centers around the famous Indian epic, the Mahabharat.  This story is keenly unique, though, in that the point of view is narrated by the one and only Panchaali, wife of the legendary Pandava brothers. As you travel through the part history, part myth story, you will gain a magical, new view of an old historic tale.

Tragedy, duty and sacrifice are pourn like magical water on the novel’s pages, pulling you into the story such that you are there, following Panchaali’s every footstep, her every thought. The novel maps Panchaali’s early life from a fire-born princess in her father’s castle to her marriage  to the five Pandava brothers. Facing exile and war, and a love story gone unfulfilled, we experience Panchaali’s transition from that of a young naive girl, into a fiery, strong woman. The tale reminds us of karma’s magic wand, and the docile hands of fate that follow it.

There are far too many passages that traversed me into a cascade of emotions, but one such discussion between Krishna and Gandhari, contemplating karma, left an imprint on me.  Gandhari, experiencing a mother’s pain, tried to curse the Pandavas, to which Krishna cooly replied:

“All things must end someday.  How can the house of the Yadus be an exception?”  Then his voice grew stern. “But tell me, aren’t you responsible for this war, too? Who indulged Duryodhan when he was a boy, instead of punishing him for the things he did to his cousins?”

Krishna goes on to say:

“Duryodhan broke his word again and again.  He took from his cousins through trickery what was justly theirs- and then, after they’d fulfilled all the conditions he placed on them, refused to return it,  You know this yourself. Isn’t that why when Duryodhan asked for your blessing just before he went to Kurukshetra, you didn’t say ‘May you win’?” Gandhari was weeping.  Krishna put his arm around her shaking shoulders. “Instead you said, ‘May righteousness prevail’ I know it was difficult for a mother to pronounce those words. But you did the right thing. Now that your words have come to pass, how can you hate those who were merely the instruments of universal law, which ultimately must restore that which was out of balance?”

There are many who turn a blind eye to wrongdoing from those that they love, and doing this, especially to young children, can create a future of entitlement.  Karma and fate spring forth from our actions, or lack thereof. Mothers and fathers – and I am speaking to myself as well – teach your kids right from wrong. Their future depends on it.

Have you read this novel, and if so what did you think?  If you had a book club on this novel, what did you all discuss?  Please share, I would love to know.

DIY Holiday Pinecones

Thanksgiving week is when we (along with more than half the nation) put up our Christmas decorations. Have you ever wanted to have fun with your decorations and get a little creative? Me too. During the beginning of the month of November, my mind kept drifting back to the DIY painted pinecones which warmly decorated our tree and mantel growing up.  They were gold and shiny. I wanted to make my own, like my mother did, versus just buying pre-made ones in the store. Plus, DIY pinecones are budget friendly, and you have an opportunity to be resourceful and creative.  

One issue presented itself though: I didn’t have a pine tree. Fast forward to last week, and a neighbor around the corner has a large box of pinecones out in front of her yard. A sign, above the bag of pinecones said ‘anyone is welcome to pick them up’. Problem solved. Thank you universe. If you don’t have a pine tree, I am sure you have a neighbor or friend with one who would gladly lend you some pinecones from their tree.  Or, come to my neighborhood, and we can go to my neighbor’s house. There are still plenty of the pinecones outside of their house as of today.

Now, the easy step by step process to make them.  First, bake them to ensure any critters, bugs, or other creepy crawlies are removed.  I layered a cookie sheet with parchment paper, and baked the cones for 20 minutes at 200 degrees fahrenheit.  If they are baked any hotter, they might burn. Rotate the pinecones once halfway through your heating time.

After baking them, I removed and allowed the cones to cool, and then laid them out on a trash bag in our garage, with the garage door open.  You want to spray paint them somewhere outdoors, with ventilation, where they won’t blow away. I used the Rustoleum painters touch with primer, so that I would only have to spray paint 1-2 coats.  Your local hardware store, or better yet amazon, will have the spray paint for about $4, and you can spray paint many (easily more than thirty) pine cones from that one can. Gift idea?

Next comes the easy part.  Put on disposable gloves, prop your pinecones upwards, and spray paint them all the way around each cone.  The directions on this spray paint can specified keeping the jar 10-16 inches away while spray painting, but I was a little less than 10 inches away, more like 8 inches.  The coverage of this spray paint was amazing. I wanted an ivory to beige color to match my dining room, which is why I chose the satin strawflower color.  There were several options of colors to choose from, so have fun with it!

Finally, allow them to dry. The directions on the spray paint said to wait 20 minutes for the paint to dry, but I layered my pinecones pretty heavily with the spray paint, so I left them out to dry overnight.  Plus, it is cold right now in north Texas, so less heat = more time to dry. The next morning I added the second coat, and a couple of hours later they were dry.

What do you think? Look how beautiful and festive they turned out! I am going to leave them out year round, and just remove the ornaments from my decorative piece after the holidays. Hope you enjoy these pinecones in your home, or giving them as gifts.

Did you have any fun or creative holiday projects that were DIY?  Please share!

What is in a year?

Good morning, and happy Friday, folks!  Something about this time of year makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  Sure, it could just be the soft, cozy socks I wear so the floors in our house don’t freeze my feet, but we will never know.

As of yesterday, I didn’t know what I was going to write about in this week’s blog post.  I searched for inspiration for several days, to no avail. Writer’s block. Drew a blank. Call it what you want, but I had nothing. Nada. Zilch. You get the idea.

Last night, it came to me. An idea. Funny how what you desire happens right when you need it, huh?  I logged into a writer’s community website that I am a part of, to listen to this week’s teaching. The speaker asked everyone to pull a coin out of their bag, look at the year, and think about what happened that year.  Voila, what a wonderful idea to blog about.

I pulled out a rather rusty old penny, but not so worn that you could not see what was inscribed on it.  The year was 2011. What a year for me that was. That year, I learned that I would be a mother for the first time, and I celebrated one year of marriage.  Those were definitely the most memorable moments of the year for me, but there were some other special memories made as well. We took a babymoon to the Bahamas, where I had never been.  The beaches were amazing. I swam with a dolphin named, Andy, who kissed me on the cheek. Looking back on the photos from that trip last night brought back vivid memories of a not so far past.

What else happened in 2011 you ask?

Interesting events that took place in 2011:

  • The Royal Wedding between Kate Middleton and Prince William took place in the United Kingdom. (ummm…so wish I could have been there!)
  • Apple releases the iPhone 4S on October 14th, only nine days after the death of co-founder Steve Jobs.
  • An underwater earthquake with a 9.0 magnitude hit off the coast of Japan, causing a tsunami with waves over 130 feet high. Damage from the tsunami and earthquake triggered a nuclear disaster at the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant.
  • Osama bin Laden is killed by US special forces in Abbottabad, Pakistan
  • Adele’s album, 21, topped the charts in more than 30 countries and became the world’s best selling album for 2011 (gosh, I love her)

As we approach the end of the year, and we look forward to spending holidays with family and friends, because they matter most – what memories would you like to make? What memories have you already made this year?  What were you up to in 2011? Pull a coin out of your bag or wallet and tell me what happened to you that year. I would love to know.


Roasted Pumpkin Seeds

Happy Halloween, folks!  We are all ready to go with our costumes, decorations, and best of all trick or treating (for the kids, of course! ok, ok, for me too). Who would like a quick and easy recipe for roasted pumpkin seeds?

I am sure many of you have a pumpkin or two you are decorating or carving, so I wanted to share a family recipe for roasted pumpkin seeds.  It was my mom’s recipe made with love, and now my sisters and I carry on the tradition every halloween.  Mom used to use the pumpkin further by making kaddoo ka halwa, a sweet pumpkin pudding, but for today I will share the roasted seed recipe only.

Below is the recipe:

First, cut a circle around the stem of your pumpkin, and lift it up, creating a lid.  Clean out the inside of the pumpkin setting all of the seeds to the side in a bowl.  

Next, wash off the seeds, and then spread them out on a papertowl to dry.

Next, once the seeds are dry, preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Lightly oil or spray cooking spray on a cookie sheet, and spread the pumpkin seeds on the cookie sheet.  Sprinkle some salt and pepper on the seeds.

Now, bake the seeds in the oven for about 12-15 minutes, until lightly browned, at 350 degrees. Once they are done, remove them from the oven, and allow them to cool for two to five minutes.

Finally, drizzle olive oil on the seeds, and then put them in a jar with a lid.  Shake it up!  Enjoy your healthy, and delicious treat. Hope you have a spooky, and goblin filled Halloween.